Prayer & Devotion, Trusting God


Toby - Old PR Photo“This is so hard,” I cried to my husband the other night after another communication tangle with our son, Gabriel. It was over something so minor as getting ready for bed. Put your toys away, brush your teeth, put on your pajamas. Simple, right? At least, that’s what I expect, even though we’ve had a good amount of incidents where bedtime routines are anything but routine. I’ve shared before that Gabriel will sometimes get stuck on certain words and phrases and will want things repeated over and over again until it has completely mastered him and exasperated me. So that’s what happened that night.

Times like these when I go through a range of emotions, from anger to despair to self-pity, none of which reflect a humility and trust in The Lord. The self-pity usually consists of thoughts of being the worse mom ever and that my children would be better off without me.

IcebergWhen God saved me as a teenager, there were sins in my life that were just gone. The Lord removed them, and I didn’t have a second thought about them. But, in this journey of sanctification, there are other sins that are like huge icebergs. No amount of chipping away at them seem to make any difference. They are still looming ominously before me.

Nevertheless, my standing before God remains. Once saved, always saved. And as my pastor used to say, “Once saved, always changed.” What kind of God would save a sinner and then leave her in the same filthy rags she had on before? No, not my God. When He saved me, He forever changed me.

But, when I seem to be acting more like the person I used to be, like that night with Gabriel, those icebergs come into view and I start to wonder. When the struggles are over the same sins, I start to doubt. When victory seems out of my grasp, I lose my assurance. Tell me, have you been there before? Are you there now?

The Lord knows our frame. He wants us to know with all certainty that we really know Him and are known by Him. Let not the sins which He has nailed to the cross tell us otherwise.

Some dear sisters shared this verse with me, and I have been holding fast to it, especially during times when besetting sins lead me to question my own salvation. May it bring your heart the assurance that The Lord freely gives His children.

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. (1 John 3:19-20)


(Photo credit 1: SaltyGrease)
(Photo credit 2: Tim Ellis)

17 thoughts on “Knowing”

  1. Thankyou for this wonderfully real post! Heres a song for you, the BEST version of this hymn I have ever come across. I will listen and make sure I read the words as it goes along for deeper impact. I’m sure it will become a firm favourite for you too!! ‘When satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within…upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin’ Crank up the volume! :)) much love x x

  2. Yes, I have been there before many, many, many times, which makes God’s grace and patient loving kindness all the more amazing. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of His patient, steadfast work of sanctification in our lives.

    1. What you said just made me realize how I need to be thankful for God’s persistence. I get frustrated sometimes because of the “many, many, many times” but I need to see them as opportunities to witness God’s grace and patience in my life many, many, many times.

  3. What a wonderful post! I marvel at the grace of my God. I think the closer we walk with Him, the more we become aware of His holiness and the more our sins stick out. The longer I walk with Him, the more I can see how much grace He poured over my life. Every sin, every flaw, every blemish, every sin-sick action, ALL covered by Christ… utterly mind-boggling. What freedom we have in Him … yes, there is truly now no condemnation as we grow and let Him sanctify us!!!! THANK YOU so much for this beautiful reminder today!

  4. How have I missed this little gem in 1John?! What a beautiful thought!
    The very fact that you can share your struggles with complete strangers shows Christ in you. Keep on keeping on, sister!

  5. I was there for several years after my salvation… But I spent every day in the Word, and eventually put on the ENTIRE set of 6 pieces of God’s spiritual armor that the apostle Paul wrote about in Ephesians 6:10-20… Our doubts and fears are from our own flesh or Satan, who will constantly try to bring Christians down…

    Praise the Lord for the power of the Holy Spirit, when we as Spirit filled Christians can dominate over Satan’s attacks through His power and strength… James 4:7-8 tells us…”Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (NKJV)

    After I gave back total control of my life to the Holy Spirit…(7 years and 2 days after my salvation, on 6/04/2009)…I must say that Satan tempts me and taunts me all the time… But by God’s grace and His mercy with the power of the Holy Spirit…Satan has been all but defeated in my life…

    Blessings in Christ, bruce

  6. I can identify with feeling frustrated with that old, lingering sin nature! I journaled about it yesterday– frustration over not being along spiritually where God has given me every opportunity to be. Satan’s attacks are crafty, aren’t they? Love the verse you shared! Thank you! May God bless and encourage you on your sanctification journey! 🙂

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